wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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