I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
