Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
