So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
