i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
