I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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