We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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