DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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