don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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