Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
