Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
