smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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