1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
