He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
