ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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