Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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