Me. At least after what I've been through.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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