It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
