Midget sex pt 2 tonight
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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