I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
