i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
