well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
