Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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