Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
