Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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