Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
