There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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