just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
