You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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