i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
even my farts smell like vagina
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
