Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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