Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you win again, gameday.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
