What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
