but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
