okay pat passed out under dana's car
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
