Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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