I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
