North Korea, Best Korea!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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