so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
