Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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