Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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