And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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