also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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