Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
