He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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