what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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