she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
