look no pants
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
