I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
