I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
