I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
