It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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