if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
