Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
