We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
